I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good
by iWrite95
Summary: Series of one-shots. Follow the Marauders as they play pranks, get girls, or not, and genuinely make fools of themselves! Features JP/LE mainly.
1. The Perfect Name

A/N: So, I know that I have other projects, but I haven't done much Harry Potter. So I think I can be exempted from angry readers asking for a well-deserved, long-awaited-for, and way-overdue chapters on my two other fics, right? No? Okay, in my defense, I had some computer troubles, meaning I broke my computer last like... April... And I just got a new one last week...

Anyway, here is the first in a new series of one-shots!

Disclaimer: Wait... Let me check my piggy bank... Nope. Not a millionaire. So, I must not own Harry Potter! Sorry!

_**Name: The Perfect Name **_**(Haha, irony…)  
><strong>_**Pairing: James/Lily and fatherly Harry/Sirius**_

"Hey, Harry," Sirius said, flipping through an old Black family album. "Have I ever told you how your parents picked your name?"

Harry froze, hus gloved hands holding open the trash bag his godfather was now throwing the family album in. Sirius hardly ever talked about James and Lily.

"No…"

Sirius chuckled. Picking up another moth eaten album, he shook his head. "Ah. That was a conversation…"

_Lily leaned into the fridge, looking for Merlin knew what. She was 7 months pregnant now, and she and James had begun talking about a name._

"_Dammit…" She muttered, backing out of the fridge and closing the door, "No pickles. Or okra. No pickle and okra sandwich."_

_She sat dejectedly at the table, her chin in her hand._

_BANG._

_Lily jumped, reaching for her wand. She pointed it at the two men now standing in the doorway, each pointing their wands at her in return._

"_What did you do to ask me out the last time in sixth year?" Lily asked the first man. He rumpled his jet black hair, which stuck up in the back._

"_I poured glitter on you at breakfast in the Great Hall, then charmed it to sing Boston's __**More Than A Feeling**__," he said. Lily turned her wand on the other man, who had equally black hair that fell in waves to his shoulders._

"_What did you say to me before my wedding?" she demanded. The man could not supress a chuckle._

"_I said, 'Ah,Lily-Flower, today's the day you've been waiting for for seven years.' Then you threw a shoe at me," he said, then, posed his own question, "What did you throw at James' head after the last Quidditch match in fifth year?"_

_Lily herself giggled now. "A snitch."_

_They all relaxed their wands. James, the first man, came forward to give his wife a kiss. Sirius, the second man, sat across from her at the table._

"_Craving something again, Lils?" James asked, noting her dejected expression._

_Lily nodded. "Yeah. I really wanted a pickle and okra sandwich…"_

_The two men shared a horiffied look and shuddered. Sirius cleared his throat, whether trying to force down bile or get James' attention no one could tell. "Prongs… Tell her…"_

_James' face lit up. "OH! Yeah! Lily, we have the PERFECT name for our child."_

"_You," Lily raised an eyerbrow skepically, dropping her hand to the table and turning to look at her husband, "do?"_

_James nodded vigorously. Sirius stood up to join him, saying, "You ready for this, Lily-Flower?"_

_Lily sighed. Merlin, why? "I guess…"_

"_Okay," James held out his arms as if to brace her. "Its…"_

_oOo_

"_No."_

"_But, Lily, THINK about it—"_

"_No, James."_

"_Aw, Lils, come on—"_

"_I said no, Sirius."_

"_Lilyyyyy. Pleaseeeee—"_

"_James. No!"_

"_But it's unisex!"_

"_Yeah, Lily-Flower! It's unisex!"_

"_Sirius, don't encourage him!"_

"_But—"_

"_For the last time, I'm NOT naming my child Elvendork!" Lily set the grocery basket on the conveyer belt for the cashier to ring up. Her mouth watered when she caught a glimpse of the pickle and okra jars the cashier was putting into a bag. "And, NO, Sirius, I don't CARE if it is unisex!"_

Harry just stood there, the trash bag still clutched in his fist. He blinked at his godfather.

"You tried to name me Elvendork?"

Sirius nodded happily. "We even had a nickname picked out. Elvy. Or Dorky, but Prongs didn't seem to like that."

Harry still stared. He couldn't believe—REALLY!—Thank Merlin for Lily—

Sirius chirped, "Well, I think we're done in here." and flounced off happily, whistling Boston's _More Than A Feeling_.

Harry's voice came from the room he'd just left.

"YOU TRIED TO NAME ME _ELVENDORK_?"

Sirius chuckled to himself. _Oh, if he ONLY knew…_

A/N: Hope you liked! If you did, please review! Or favorite or alert or whatever...!


	2. More Than A Feeling

**A/N: I'm going to write a few of these and post them to get things started. So, here's number 2!**

**Disclaimer: Still not JK Rowling. So still don't own Harry Potter.**

_**Name: More Than A Feeling  
>Pairing: JamesLily**_

Remus Lupin sat in the Great Hall at breakfast. He was waiting for it, though he thought it a very bad idea. He glanced down the table at James. He looked gleeful. Remus sighed.

He had told James this was a bad idea. But James simply _insisted…_

oOo

"_James, I really don't think you should do this," Remus said, looking up from his book. "Just because she's being nicer and you're getting along better doesn't mean she'll like this."_

_James danced around their dorm, preparing his props for tomorrow. "But, Moony, she loves this song!"_

_Remus sighed. "That may be true, Prongs, but—"_

"_Oh, Moony, let him do it!" Sirius said, watching James tap a pile of glitter with his wand gleefully. "She did tell him she loves this song…"_

_Remus huffed. No one listened to him until it was too late. And later, when it was too late, James would be bemoaning why his "foolproof" plan hadn't worked and why Remus hadn't "stopped him". To which Remus would say, "I tried, Prongs, but you wouldn't have any of it, remember?" _

_And James would just glare at him…_

oOo

Lily entered the Hall. James sat up a little straighter. Lily sat down, giving the Marauders a small wave. Remus returned it a little apologetically, trying to warn her. She didn't notice.

BANG!

Fireworks began going off, spelling out the words, "Lily-Flower…"

James stood on the table and said, "Lily, will you go out with me?"

Lily, for her part, looked enraged. Her face was red, and her fists clenched. She ground out through clenched teeth, "Potter…"

James grinned. "Yes?"

Lily seemed about to explode. _Wait until she gets the finale…_ Remus thought.

"No, Potter, I will not," Lily said, menacingly low, "You know, I thought you were changing. I thought your head was deflating. Maybe it has a little, but clearly not enough…"

Then, the finale (set for when James was sure Lily would have said yes) went off. Glitter floated down from the enchanted ceiling, singing, "_It's more than a feelin'. (More than a feelin'!) When I hear that old song they used to play. (More than a feelin'!) I begin dreamin'. (More than a feelin'!)"_

AT the parts it talks about "Marianne", James had charmed it to say, "Lily-Ann". Remus watched Lily's face as she listened to the song, her face getting redder and redder. But he thought he saw something flicker in her green eyes. A soft something.

But her eyes hardened in the next second, and she tried to get the still belting glitter off as she stormed out of the hall.

James looked dejected. He stepped off the table and slouched out of the Hall to try to apologize.

oOo

Lily had to have a silencing charm placed on her to shut up the singing glitter, which was stuck to her clothes. She was furious, but Remus could tell she was thinking hard about something.

He didn't mention his theory about the topic of her thoughts to James.

Speaking of James, he was currently slumped against the Transfiguration desk, his head in his arms.

"How did my foolproof plan not work?" he whisper wailed.

"I don't know, James, maybe because—"

"Moony! Why didn't you stop me?"

"I tried, James, but you would have none of it, if you remember…"

**A/N: Number two, people! If you haven't heard the song, you should listen to it. Really amazing song, that is. (Boston: More Than A Feeling) And, to make it better, that song actually came out around 1976!**


	3. Kiss The Girl

**A/N: This is probably the last one for tonight. And I can really see Sirius doing this… It's kinda sad…**

**Disclaimer: How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not JK Rowling! Nor and I an impersonator… *pushes away JK Rowling costume while whistling***

_**Name: Kiss The Girl  
>Pairing: JamesLily**_

James was NOT going to mess this up. He was going to take this seriously, and make ABSOLUTELY no stupid jokes or pranks.

He had finally gotten Lily Evans to go on a date with him, and by MERLIN, she was going to ENJOY it.

Well, JAMES might have promised no stupid jokes or pranks, but Sirius hadn't. And he was going to make the most of this non-promise.

"Padfoot, don't ruin this for him…" Moony, the buzz kill, said while they stood in line to go to Hogsmeade. Sirius was craning his neck to see his best friend and his date.

"Moony, why do you have to be such a buzz kill?" he said, still looking for the couple. "Dammit. You'd think Evans' hair would be beacon enough…"

Peter snickered while Remus looked reproachful.

"I'm just saying," Remus said as Filch checked their names, eyeing them each carefully as if expecting them to suddenly scream, "ATTACK!" and pelt him with dungbombs, "he'll never forgive you if you ruin this."

Sirius waved his hand in a nonchalant manner and rushed off to find Prongs and Lily-Flower.

oOo

Sirius found them on the path to Hogsmeade and smirked, pulling James' Invisibility Cloak from his pocket. He slipped under it and crept up behind them.

"There you see her," Sirius crooned in their ears, "Sitting there across the way… She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her…"

He stepped away hastily as James whipped around. Lily looked confused.

"Was that…?" she asked. Sirius noticed they were holding hands and grinned to himself.

"Yeah… Sounded like him…" James murmured. He squinted right at Sirius, or the place he would be if he were visible. He glared daggers at Sirius, as if he could see him and were telling him to back off, then turned away again.

Sirius crept up again and sang, "And you don't know why, but you're dyin' to try, you wanna kiss the girl…"

James and Lily whipped around again, but there was no one there. A ghostly snicker followed them into the village.

oOo

This happened all day. Sirius followed James and Lily everywhere, from Honeydukes to Zonko's to the owl post office and then to the Three Broomsticks.

In the Three Broomsticks, Sirius was bellowing to be heard. "Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la don't be scared, you've got the moves prepared, go on and KISS THE GIRL! Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la don't stop now, don't try to hide it, how? You wanna KISS THE GIRL!"

James, it seemed, had had enough. "SIRIUS!" he yelled. He reached out and whipped the cloak off of Sirius, who just continued to sing, "JUST FLOAT ALONG AND LISTEN TO THE SONG! THE SONG SAY, 'KISS THE GIRL!' SHA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA LET THE MUSIC PLAY! DO WHAT THE MUSIC SAY! THE SONG SAY, 'KISS THE GIRL!'"

"Fine!" James bellowed, "I'll do it!"

With that, he grabbed Lily's face and kissed her, hard. He pulled away after only a minute, and glared at Sirius.

"Happy?"

"Very."

"Good, now, lea—"

But the rest of the sentence was cut off as Lily pulled him back around by the collar and started to snog him very thoroughly. The pub burst into applause, and Sirius bowed.

"My work here is done!"

**A/N: Don't you think Sirius would do that? Follow James and Lily on their first date and sing to get them to kiss? **

**I do. Obviously. **

**Review and tell me!**


	4. There Will Never Be Another Tonight

**A/N: Sooo… Another one-shot! **

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling**

_**Name: There Will Never Be Another Tonight  
>Pairing: JamesLily and friendly James/Sirius**_

James Potter had always had a thing for Bryan Adams, Lily knew. He used to walk around the school belting it at the top of his lungs. Now he walked around the Heads' dorms belting it at the top of his lungs.

It was hard to say which song was his favorite. He constantly sang _Best of Me_, _There Will Never Be Another Tonight_, and _(Everything I do) I Do It For You_. Lily, personally, thought _There Will Never Be Another Tonight_ fit the Marauders the best.

Maybe this was why she wasn't surprised when she entered the dormitory one night to find James and Sirius standing on the coffee table in front of the fire, singing into their wands, "YOU GOTTA RIDE YOUR BROOM RIGHT INTO MY ROOM! KICK OFF YOUR SHOES, MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME! WAVE YOUR LITTLE WAND, WEAVE A LITTLE SPELL, MAKE A LITTLE MAGIC, RAISE SOME HELL!"

That was when the two boys noticed Lily. As the music continued to play, Sirius called, "Lily-Flower! Come sing with us!"

"Yeah, Lils!" James said, scooting over to make room for her on the coffee table, "Come! Sing!"

Lily shook her head, deliberating.

She shrugged.

Eh, why not?

Carpe diem, right?

She pulled out her own wand and took James' offered hand.

The three sang together: "WHO CARES ABOUT TOMORROW? LET THE WIND FILL YOUR SAILS! A RUNAWAY TRAIN RIDIN' ON THE RAILS! WE GOT THE BASES LOADED! HOME RUN-POWER PLAY! TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT WE'RE GOIN' ALL THE WAY!"

On the last verse, James took Lily's hand and twirled her around. They were all cackling madly, not worrying about their families, the war, N.E.W.T.S., or anything else for once.

Lily didn't even question herself when her stomach tingled and her cheeks grew hot as James twirled her a second time.

Neither did she scowl at the knowing look on Sirius' face.

She just let the good times roll.

**A/N: I don't know what I was expecting with that… But I don't think that was it. I'm really not sure how to feel about this… Your opinion? **

**I seem to like making them sing… Dunno why haha. The song they were singing was **_**There Will Never Be Another Tonight**_** by Bryan Adams. A true Marauders song.**


	5. Once Upon A Dream

**A/N: And drum roll please! Another one-shot! Ha, I don't think I've ever updated this (sort-of) regularly… Oops. But thank you all for the wonderful reviews!**

**Just a heads up, I'll probably have a song that goes with a lot of these. Music is a large part of my personality, and it inspires a lot of my writing. Most of it will be oldies music. And Disney. I love Disney.**

**Oh, and this is set in the beginning (meaning before Christmas. That holiday is how I divide my school year.) of their third year.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Or Sleeping Beauty. **

_**Name: Once Upon A Dream  
>Pairing: JamesMcGonagall (No, not like that! Merlin, you dirty people!)**_

James could not believe this. He COULD NOT believe this! HOW could Sirius dare him to do that? He knows James would never turn down a dare! Plus, that song was sung by a GIRL.

_And a boy! It was a duet! _James' brain, the part that found this dare funny, said.

_Shut up, brain!_ James thought furiously at himself, glaring at his forehead. (Or trying to. He couldn't really SEE his forehead.)

"You know he dared you to do this because he knows you won't turn down a dare," Remus remarked from behind his book.

James frowned. Remus was right. Sirius did dare him to do this because he wouldn't turn it down. And the penalty for turning down a dare in Marauder Truth or Dare was streaking…

Despite everyone's contrary opinions, James was very insecure about his body.

[Insert snort here.]

Sirius entered the Great Hall. "So, Jamesie," he said, plopping down next to James and clapping him on the back. "Ready?"

James scowled. But he nodded all the same. Sirius made complicated movements in the air with his hands that ended with him doing the wave. Remus looked over the top of his book at him and raised an eyebrow.

Peter's voice called from outside the Hall. "What the bloody hell was that?"

Sirius glowered as some people around them snickered and McGonagall glared. "The signal, you numpty!"

"Numpty?" Peter yelled back, still out of sight, "What is a 'numpty'?"

"Just go, Peter!"

Peter didn't yell back and suddenly music, bouncy, pointless-sounding orchestra music, filled the hall. James sighed and went to stand in front of McGonagall. As the music played on, he called, "Dearest Minnie! I have a song I would like to sing to you!"

Their Transfiguration professor looked affronted, but said nothing.

James took a deep breath.

"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream!" James sang, straining to make his voice sound oprah-singer-high. It shouldn't have been too hard, his voice had been cracking a lot lately, but apparently it had chosen today to stop. "I know you, the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam!"

People were beginning to crack up. Titters were echoing up and down the four tables.

"And I know it's true, that visions are seldom all they seem! But if I know you, I know what you'll do! You'll love me at once, they way you did once upon a dream!"

Now the entire Hall was in hysterics. James felt a rush from making all those people laugh and continued stronger, prancing around in a circle as he sang the "la-la"s.

"But if I know you, I know what you'll do! You'll love me at once, they way you did once upon a dream!"

James paused, waiting for the rest to pass. When he started singing again, he made his voice purposefully deep.

"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream. I know you, the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam."

Sirius pointed his wand at his best mate, muttering a spell to make his voice sound like a chorus.

"And I know it's true, that visions are seldom all they seem," James seemed startled to find his voice multiplied, but kept singing anyway. "But if I know you, I know what you'll do. You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream."

The music came to a stop. James bowed deeply to McGonagall, glancing at her face. She looked furious.

"Potter!" she screeched over the laughing students. "Detention!"

**A/N: So? I really do like to make them sing… But ah, well. I think it's funny. Anyway, if you haven't figured it out, the song was **_**Once Upon A Dream **_**(or, if you're my iPod, it's actually **_**An Unusual Prince/Once Upon A Dream (Soundtrack Version)**_**) from Sleeping Beauty. That's my favorite Disney move, just so you know.**

**And, just for your information, I was going to have him sing **_**Go the Distance**_** from Hercules to Lily and it be in 5****th**** year. Then I listened to it and realized that it didn't fit their situation. So I made them younger and changed the song to **_**(I Won't Say) I'm in Love **_**and was going to have it be a type of first confession to her… But as I was writing I remembered my favorite Disney movie and thought of this song. And that it'd be funnier if he sang it to McGonagall. I now imagine he hasn't figured out he likes Lily yet, but he will figure it out (and deny it) later that year.**

**Okay, long rant over. (You really don't have to read these. They're generally pointless.) **

**Review please!**


	6. What's a Film?

**A/N: Whoo! Time for another one-shot!**

**So, at the end of this chapter, I will be giving you lovely readers a sample of a new James/Lily story I've been working on. (Warning: It has yet to be edited. At all. So it might be a little… serious.)**

**I would love your wonderful opinion on whether I should put it up or not. In the end, it will be my decision, of course, but your opinions mean ever so much.**

**So, on with the one-shot!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Or Hercules. Even though Disney doesn't own him either.**

_**Name: What's a film?  
>Pairing: Marauders (Cause they have to have some family bonding time!)<strong>_

James paced up and down his room. He was muttering to himself, occasionally trying to glare at his forehead.

"Do you think he'll ever realize that you can't SEE your forehead?"

It was Sirius that had spoken. He and Peter watched James from the bed. Remus was reading some muggle book called Knocked Out By My Nunga-Nungas.

If James occasionally glared at a forehead he couldn't see, Remus occasionally giggled (In a VERY manly way, thank you very much!) at his book.

James turned to them all. He said loudly, "Mates, I've decided to give up on Lily Evans!"

Sirius and Peter burst into laughter. When he caught sight of James' expression, Sirius sobered and said with surprise, "Oh! You were serious!"

James pursed his lips. "Am I really that bad?"

The two Marauders paying attention nodded. Remus giggled his manly giggle again, and James chucked a pillow at him.

"OI!"

"Stop reading that fruity looking book, Remus, and help me," James said. "I've decided to give up on Evans."

Remus began the (still EXTREMELY manly) giggling again. The (yep, STILL manly) giggles turned into (donkey-like) guffaws.

"Now we know why he only chuckles," Sirius muttered to Peter. "He sounds like a sick—"

"Oi! I've got a problem, here! Remus, stop guffawing, you sound like a donkey." James looked very disgruntled. "I don't know how I'm supposed to do this!"

Remus (who looked offended) huffed and said, "Stop asking her out, stop thinking about her, etc."

Peter mouthed, "Et cetera?" to Sirius, who shrugged.

James looked confused. "Then what am I supposed to think about? School?"

Remus frowned. "I didn't say it would be easy. But you can do it, James. You can go that distance."

James' eyes lit up. "You're right! I CAN!" He suddenly began to sing, very loudly, and very off-key, "I am on my way! I can go the distance! I don't care how far, somehow I'll be stro—"

Remus had thrown a pillow at James. James scowled at his friend, who smirked.

"You need to stop watching those muggle films."

Sirius glanced at Peter, mouthing, "What's a film?"

Peter shrugged and whispered, "Hell if I know…"

James looked disgruntled now. "Fine, but I will do it. I will not fall for her this year."

Three snorts sounded in the room.

"What are you snorting at?" James asked, glaring at them in turn.

"Snorts? What snorts?"

"Yes, what are these 'snorts' you speak of?"

"What's a film?"

**A/N: So? (every time I capitalize that, I always release the shift key too late so both letters are in caps. Then I feel like I'm yelling in my head…)**

**I didn't think it was up to my usual. Ah well.**

**Here's that tidbit I promised. Tell me what you think!**

"_**Sorry," she said, taking James' hand. "He can't go with you. He'll be going with me, his girlfriend."**_

_**James' eyes widened, but Lily towed him from the Entrance Hall, leaving the girl and her fan club friends standing there.**_

"_**Uh, Lily," James said as he struggled to keep up with her, "Two things: One, where are we going? And two, you know you just opened a can of worms?"**_

_**Lily ignored him. Her brain was working furiously. She used the hand that wasn't towing James to push a piece of red hair out of her green eyes.**_

_**Her plan, rudimentary as it was, was a little nuts. But… possibly worth it. She'd just have to go with it.**_

**Eh? Not very much to go on, but I really didn't feel like typing anymore. Sorry. Just tell me what you think of that pathetically small bit, though. All comments are appreciated! (Except flames. If you do that, I will rip you limb from limb. I just don't get that. If you're gonna be mean about something, don't read it. Constructive criticism is one thing. But being mean because you don't like something they said or just for the heck of it is rude (like stabbing people. That's rude, too.). Being rude is rude. So don't do it.) Thanks!**

**Review! **


	7. Hakuna Matata, Boys, Hakuna Matata

_**Name: Hakuna Matata, Boys, Hakuna Matata  
>Pairing: The Marauders<strong>_

The first moment Remus Lupin knew he had wonderful friends in James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black was the summer after fourth year.

Remus had just witnessed another failed attempt at asking Lily Evans out, and James was feeling down. So, as they sat on the train that would take them away from their home and back to their families, the boys tried to cheer him up.

"Well, hakuna matata, mate," Sirius said.

James flashed an infinitesimally small smile.

Remus smiled a little and started in a sing-song voice, "Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase."

James' smile got wider.

"Hakuna matata, ain't no passin' craze," Peter joined in, smiling a little.

"It means no worries," James joined, a full blown grin on his face by now. "For the rest of your days…"

All four boys glanced at each other, then shouted, "It's our problem free philosophy! Hakuna matata!"

As they all collapsed into guffaws and snorts, Remus looked around him at his friends and smiled. He knew he could trust them with his life, and he would do so without hesitation.

"Hey, Moony," Sirius said, using that ridiculous nickname they had come up with for him when they found out his secret. "What are you grinning at?"

Remus shook his head. "Hakuna matata, Sirius, hakuna matata."

**A/N: Sort of ironic, isn't it? Considering they're on the cusp of the first Wizarding War, James will be dead in a matter of about seven years, Sirius will be blamed for it, and Peter will be the one actually responsible for it.**

**But the spirit of the Marauders was very hakuna matata, wasn't it? Even with Moldy Voldy hanging over their heads they still found ways to have fun and be carefree. It is quite a marvelously admirable trait to have, I think. **


	8. Like Father Like Son

**A/N: It has been WAY too long since I posted. My sincere apologies, dear people, but I am a lazy git who does not do as she ought. And this time, when she did get around to doing what she was supposed to, it turned out sentimental rather than humorous. However, she believes she will satisfy her lovely readers, for this is a very delightful one-shot in her opinion.**

**She will also stop speaking in third person now.**

**Anyway, yes, this is not a humorous one-shot. It is instead one that filled me will profound sadness while writing it. But I like, and hope you will, too.**

**Disclaimer: Me? Writing the Harry Potter series? Pish posh! Do I seem British to you?**

_**Name: Like Father, Like Son  
>Pairing: Marauders<strong>_

The first time Remus Lupin came across Peeves the Poltergeist he was a first year. He was exploring one Saturday early in September when he stumbled across Peeves stuffing chewing gum into key holes.

"Hey!" he'd shouted, "You shouldn't do that!"

Peeves had bounced into the ceiling in surprise. When he saw Remus, he cackled, blew a raspberry, and said, "What's the ickle firstie gonna do about it? Perhaps he would prefer Peevesy stuff him with chewing gum!"

Peeves pulled back his arm. A voice sounded down the corridor.

"Oi! Leave him alone!"

It was a boy, another first year Gryffindor by the name of James Potter, and his friend, Sirius Black. Remus had not spoken to them much, but he knew they were exceptionally bright, if just as exceptionally lazy.

"Remus, isn't it?" James asked.

Remus nodded.

"James. James Potter. And this is Sirius Black."

Sirius grinned lazily at him and put his hands behind his head, leaning against the wall behind him.

James moved to face Peeves head on. "Now," he said, "I said, leave him alone."

Remus noticed James had produced his wand, and Sirius was now idly twirling his between his fingers.

Peeves cackled again and ignored James. He went back to his key hole stuffing.

A glint of mischief flashed in James' eyes.

"Watch this," he said to Remus and Sirius. He leveled his wand, his arm straight out from his shoulder, and said, "_Wadiwasi!_"

A wad of gum flew from the first key hole and right up Peeves' nose. James roared with laughter and Sirius cried, "Nice one, James!" Peeves retreated down the corridor, muttering about stupid first years.

Remus chuckled, watching James. It the first memory he would recall when thinking of his friend in later years, though he didn't know it at the time. Indeed, the sight of James' unrestrained mirth would be a sight Remus would see many times in the future.

And he would later show his third year Defense Against the Dark Arts class that same spell. They were in the exact same corridor, in the exact same place Remus, Sirius, and James had been standing. And, watching young Harry Potter double over in laughter with his best friend Ron lazily twirling his wand between his fingers, Remus saw, for a few fleeting moments, a different pair of friends standing before him and grinning. The sight filled him with profound sadness.

But he blinked, and a bespectacled, green eyed boy was standing before him instead of a hazel eyed one.

**A/N: Now that I'm all sad…**

**Review please. **


	9. So I Panicked

**A/N: Yay! Back to humor! **

_**Name: So I panicked…  
>Pairing: Marauders<strong>_

Sirius Black, James Potter, and Remus Lupin were lounging in the seventh year boys' dormitory. The room was quiet until James jumped up and shouted, "Oi! What time is it?"

Sirius glanced at his clock. "It's noon… Why?"

James frantically began changing clothes. "I promised Lily I'd help her with her Transfiguration today at 12:30 in the library!"

Remus looked up from the book he was reading. "I'll come with you, Prongs. I should study some anyway."

Sirius snorted and resumed making shapes in the air with his wand. His friends were so studious, with James being Head Boy, Remus being his smart self, and Peter getting extra help for his NEWTS this year.

"Better hurry," he told them.

"You don't want to come, Padfoot?" James asked, straightening his tie. "Remember what happened last time we left you alone?"

Sirius blanched. Oh, the horror of that experience... "That is irrelevant. It won't happen again."

James narrowed his eyes, then laughed. "Alright, Pads. See you later."

He and Remus left, and Sirius listened to their footsteps on the stairs until they receded. He once again resumed his shape making.

He glanced at the clock.

12:30.

Sirius snorted at himself. He moved his wand in the air and made a triangle…

…A square…

…A circle…

…He was so alone…

…Another triangle…

…What time was it?...

…12:35…

…When were James and Remus coming back?...

…A hexgon…

…What time was it now?...

…12:45…

_I will not panic_, Sirius told himself. _I'm fine. They're coming back. And I promised James THAT wouldn't happen again._

…A pentagon…

…12:46…

…Don't panic….

…Another circle…

…Not panicking…

…Yet another triangle…

…12:50…

…Still not panicking…

…Square…

…12:51…

…Panicking…

"I wonder how Sirius is," James said as he and Remus climbed the stairs to the boys' dormitory. It was 3:00, three hours after the boys left for the library.

"I hope he didn't panic again," Remus said. "That was a mess."

"He promised he wouldn't," James said, reaching for the door knob to their room. He turned it, and pushed…

…And was greeted by Sirius throwing himself into James' arms, yelling, "JAMESIE! I THOUGHT YOU'D LEFT ME!"

Remus face palmed while James dropped Sirius and asked, "Sirius… What did you do?"

Sirius skittered backwards across the floor, pushing the door fully open. James' and Remus' jaws dropped.

All four beds were unmade, the covers having been ripped off along with some of the bed hangings. Their trunks were open and their things scattered all over the floor, while what appeared to be Remus' bed was actually in two halves. The door to their bathroom was off the hinges and toilet paper was strung everywhere. The sink was upside down and the tap was on. Water was quickly flooding the entire room.

And in the middle of the wreckage sat Sirius, trying, and failing, to look contrite.

"I…" he mumbled, "I thought you were never ever ever ever coming home ever. So I panicked."

**A/N: I got the idea for this from this picture:**

/on/?i=25041

**It seemed a very Sirius thing to do.**


	10. Mission Impossible

**A/N: I know it's been a while, and I apologize. Today, I was looking through an old spiral bound and I found about two or three stories I wrote months ago and forgot to add to this. So, here they are, and I sincerely apologize for the delay. Don't eat me.**

**Disclaimer: Not JK. Definitely do not own HP.**

_**Name: Mission Impossible  
>Pairing: JamesSirius**_

Today was the day. James and Sirius had been planning this for months now. A lot of work (and dictionary use) had gone into preparing for this night.

James quietly hummed the Mission Impossible theme song as he and Sirius snuck through the halls of Hogwarts to the Heads' dorm.

"Agent Padfoot, do you read me? Over," James said, peaking around a corner.

"I do, Agent Prongs. Over," Sirius replied, doing a tuck-and-roll.

_WHAM_

Sirius' tuck-and-roll had tuck-and-rolled him right into a wall. James glared.

"Agent Padfoot, don't blow our cover," he said. "Do you have the stuff? Over."

Sirius groaned softly and nodded. "Lily gave it to me this morning. Do you have the CVR, Agent Prongs? Over."

"Lily said it's a VCR, over," James corrected. He suddenly pressed his back flat to the wall, inching slowly around the corner. Then he darted to the other side of the wall, flattening himself again and humming.

"Duh-nah-nuh…" he whisper-yelled. Sirius followed him. It seemed he had decided to stop his tuck-and-roll technique.

James spotted something.

"May day, may day!" he said. "Act natural, Agent Padfoot. Don't give us away! Over."

The two boys straightened and smiled as Lily, Remus, and Peter approached.

"Hello, you two," Lily said. "Look who I found in the library! We were just on our way to the Common Room."

"Yeah…" Sirius said. His eyes darted from side to side. James elbowed him.

"What are you up to?" Lily asked.

"Uh…" James said, "We were just going to…"

"Pee on turtles," Sirius said. James looked at him sharply.

_Pee on turtles?_ he mouthed.

Sirius shrugged. _Or bunnies. Whichever. _he mouthed back

Their three friends eyed them warily.

"Alright…" Remus said. Years of experience had taught him not to ask. "Come, Lily, Peter, let us leave these two to their turtles…"

Once they were gone, Sirius exhaled. "Whew! That was close!"

"Pee on turtles?!" James yelled. "What was that?!"

"I was thinking on my feet!"

James glared. "Just come on."

The two boys hurried off to the Heads' dorm, the "stuff" safely tucked away in Sirius' bag.

oOo

An hour later, Lily walked into the Heads' Common Room to find James and Sirius clutching each other and wailing, tears streaming down their faces.

A muggle TV and VCR sat on the floor in front of them. Lily recognized the movie.

She sighed. "Come on, boys. Time for bed."

She helped James up.

"So sad," James muttered, snuffling.

"I know," Lily said. She pulled Sirius up.

"Jamesie," Sirius said.

"Yes?"

"Hold me…"

The two boys burst into tears again. They stumbled up to bed, holding each other.

Lily sighed again and turned off The Lion King, where Mufasa's death scene was still playing.

**A/N: Before you say it, I know that scene is not an hour into the movie. But I imagine it took them a while to get the VCR working. Also, ignore the rule that no muggle devices work in Hogwarts, kay? Kay.**


End file.
